It always baffled me how I could be bright, clever and stupid in less than 5 minutes.

It was easy to put it down to mental illness after my failed suicide attempt and rejection of a dream job. Cleverly solving social schemes by becoming what other people want or need while hacking the system I lived in made me willingly stupid, when I imaginatively took on the role of the fool from Shakespeare who was of course the smartest person in the room, in the plays, if not in my very real life.

My inevitable lack of awareness around fashionable clubbable behaviour would appear like an unwelcome priest in a story by Camus inviting me to die with absolution while knowing I was faithlessly falling again unforgivably, without knowing why the rational Mathematics did not guide my choice. The I that cannot yield to reason isolates the identity in any human Me~Mind living one time forward lifetime.

A special type of yielding, from the inside out enables anieling of the srrident I in my mind.

Before who am I, what am I and how am I what I am, now. if my Me~Mind never enters the same evanescent iState twice in one time forward lifetme, then the capacity to monitor and manage the processing of iteratively better iStates depends upon my Me~Mind.

Time present time, evanescent time, lived experience time, is where the space is or is not in one time forward sapient human lifetime in an embodied interdependent human Me~Mind like mine, now. Now is the point of orientation from within which the emergent knowledge flows in one time forward lifetime, whether we are aware of it or not.

There is only one known pathway to making empty space available in the sapient ontology of a human mind in time present in a complex system and that pathway runs from the inside out in an interdepend human Me~Mind that is capable of creating empty paving there can be no nihilism or ecstasy, which passionately rejects objects of mind that were never real beyond imagination entangled with the culturally self authored human isolation from all that is now. The zero that arises in relation to the 1 is entailed in the One. this ontology is systemically compromised and camoflaged during our participation in the present using number theory bound language. which is innately incomplete.

depends upon the beginning of nowi in this interdependent human Me~Mind living one time forward lifetime of evenescent presents and the skill is learnable, the techniques are proven

Schadenfreude is a queer tendency in all but a very few of us, from time to time, illustrating upon reflection the innately primitive nature of our meaning making, without recollective wisdom.

Avoiding shadefreude is made possible by the use of the Doubtless Self which is integrated into the Mi~iMind emergent knowledge processing solutions using the 2 Truths of Mahayana Buddhist tradition in the form of an intellectual understanding of the Heart Sutra, with the EmptiSelf conception modeling for use with evanescent iStates in one time forward lifetime.

and shaenfreude is one of those quire tendencies like smell that lingers silently until it is sniffed in the corner of a reflection, revealing the space as hoi polloi bound. Hoi polloi contingent values come from the outside in, they represent pathways designed for navigation among the hoi polloi.

The Doubtless Self Conception that is used in the Mi~iMind emergent knowledge solutions is not over against the hopelessly hobbled persona pound self conception of western psychology, which was conceived as a cure for mental illness and masquarades as a self conception with the addition of the non existent and meaning conflated with feelings.

Hoi polloi iStates that live as entangled anaphoric evanescent iStates bound to linear cultural norms are systemically limited by several distinct yet related hinges, including language and the use of invertion to create meaning, in imaginations bound to fashion.

Post modern science gives us new simple solutions to solving for the present, simple solutions that cannot be filtered through the persona and mindfulness is the least willing thesis to made an instrument of the persona, while it effortlessly provides a process managment ready self cocnception that is deontically incompatible with the persona of western psychology.

In one time forward lifetime no two people see the same rainbow. The will to know now, to be aware now is actively polluted by the I that wills not to be aware. The light that fractures into colours we can see through the prism can be sent back to white light the information that flows through the I cannot be sent back in one time forward lifetime. The ecology of a time forward lifetime of awareness is bound to a present in time forward where new understanding emerges in the present not the past.

The willing awareness in the present is not over against what is arising in our I.

is the milky tea, we can never know if all the milk was put in before or after the pouring of the tea, or what the milk was.

The complexity within which our self awareness arises is now more visible to us our unfounded fears and mystery

The concept of Persona crystalised for use in mental therapy by Sigmund Freud a white man who believed women did not have the same potential as men has its roots in oral traditions from within which descriptions of human identity arose and seeded our cultural identities.

Self conceptions derived using orally defined concepts of the human soul as a uniquely separate entity capable of living on in time forward while our human bodies decay and die akin to all other living creatures on Earth. That such concepts emerged in male dominated communities that sincerely believed the world was flat and the earth was at the centre of the Universe should give us pause during recollective reasoning.

We are not just on a planet that is not flat we come into being as humans in the present arising in time forward in one time forward lifetime within an observable pre existing complex system a concept that our flat earth ancestors could never have understood and Persona is not complex system ready no more than Ptolemy's map could help get Elon Musk into space.

It was Me not I that was rejected in the blood of my mothers womb as evidenced by my blue upon birth. It was Me not I that was taken from my mother at two months because I was brown. It was Me not I that was held back from adoption by the hoteliers in Dublin by the Nuns because of my brown. It was Me not I that got double pneumonia in the final hell for some that was the infamoous orphanage of death. It was Me not I that was rescued by a defient mother who sacrificed all hope of respectability by saving me from that place.

The personal I that separated me from my actual interdependence came out in Me as mixed race when Me had been here for 4 years.

The interdependency of my embodied mind became clear for me between the ages of 2 and 10 months, before my first birthday my catastrophic maternal failure called upon my mind to make sense and survive, here.

Is a prelinguistic new born baby naturally connected somatically to our origins here in this cohesion powerless or can such a young mind learn how to use pre linguistic signs and sounds sufficiently to get what they need or does the child need the intervention of a human God.

We can do what we can do and the ones amongst us who can interpret laws of inference and the practical imperitives that flow from these understandings can quickly see that self conception is hobbled if it is made a dirivitive of a primitive understanding wrapped in natural language by a local village.

The privilaged Englishman is holon bound whether he considers himself God's representative on earth or not, the lower classes are what he sees looking down choiclessly.

The sincerest most well meaning Englishman will pass on the I of the holon in language and artistic interpretations.

Good Will made strong in the Me~Mind without capacity because it is tied to persona bound hoi polloi self conceptions can actively cause the wilful pollution of emergent knowledge.

Suppressing and repressing the flow of knowledge happens everyday in simple relationships where an interlocutor asked about how they are simply says 'Fine'without ever checking in with themselve, the reasoning that justifies such behaviour is normally a socially bound norm, from a bell curve in a tribal group. We can imagine a woman suffering upset from a painful menstrul cycle experience has been discouraged from openly acknowledging her pain and the social norm tracks around the impropriety of sharing such information in polite society, illustrating that polite society can be the most genteel purveyor of lifelong cruelty, while designating those who share their information clearly crass.

The good will that may motivate pollite society can be well intended the consiquences can be appalling.

The interdependence that is the ontology of a human Me~Mind is organically connected in the embodiment of consiousness and the empty nature of the best rational knowledge processors availble to us.

The organic insight that arises through present awareness is masked by tribal self conceptions and perceptions masked in conceptions originating in misconceptions such as isolation.

Understanding is a concept that you may notice being used here and it is used in a particual way which has manifold infinities to include however to make it useable from the get go it may be helpful to take it to mean, sufficiently understood to be wisely applied.

There is no need to stare at things for prolonged periods of time to understand the concept of evenescent and the timebound iStates of awareness our minds inhabit in the present of one time forward lifetime. We may with some degree of certanty move from a man never steps into the same river twice to a human Me~mind never steps into the same iState twice, using mathematical foundations for our logical framework which can use process management techniques to iteratively manage the present iState, while being fully aware of lived human experiece in the present.
The mindful 1st techniques for bringing awareness to the present are hinged upon an empty self conception which avoids nihilsm and self esteem issues during self reflection. This requires an internal paradigm shift which is necessary for the creation of a willining inner witness, called Mi~iWitness which enables effortless awareness using wise understanding.

adapt to work with EmptiSelf conception

The inner processing of emergent knowledge using lived experiences in relationship with participation in evanescent iStates will reveal particular patterns of emegence of understanding including active opposition from sunken values, in a capable human Me~Mind.

Our work developing the Mi~ iWitness processing framework for our capable human Me~Mind is a whole of life process as we seek to gain insights into how might presently improve our willingness to know effortlessly.

Identification in the present is easily traced using expanded attention awareness, which includes the 6 schandas, when the reflection begins like 'I have a body, I have feelings, I have thoughts' then the present is being opened by an 'I' with sunken values, the nature of which may include wilful oppostion to the emergent truth in the present.

The unwilling to know bindings in the narritive within which the 'I or the They' arise are systemically hidden if they are linear such as with Maslow's hierarchy of Needs.

To speak out against systemic opression of the knowledge flow is to speak into some system that successufully others and uses that othering process for imprematur and status conformation for members, the most exalted systemic organizations and disciplines are inhabited by othering groups who care.
ing systems that actively stem the knowldge flow for their users, creating reputations from false narritives among individuals who are self limited to hoi polloi iStates using a feelings meaning compounding error in their Me~Mind living one time forward lifetime.
For people with strong good will speaking out will occur on more than one occassion and if you survive you may come to a point where you wonder what is the point in speaking out. The they, the in group, lie and obfuscate using the most plausable reasoning to hand to create false images among the hoi polloi of who they are and they consider the creation of a false narritive their highest skill

We begin each conscious moment in our roles within professional knowledge work identified, sometimes passionately with

The feeling of being lost is inevitable when we use hoi polloi iStates to orientate for many reasons including the basic systemic limit caused by the use of linear hierarchies such as Maslow's hierarchy of needs to evaluate the present in one time forward lifetime.

Even before it gets to the level of human interpretation at the level of the individual the embodied nature of a human mind in one time forward lifetime is committed to emergence within an energetic dynamic complex system which carries information in wavelengths that have no pride or shame.

The winnowing of persona from the present awareness belies the locality and structure of the habitual personas that have been inhabited and in so doing provide a catalogue of identities that require compassionate rendering.

While what is absent is of interest to us as individuals the processing functional knowledge processing solution is concerned with creating reliable ground up feedback loops from clear core iStates in the present.

The capacity to be aware of the will to know and resistances arising when engaged as a professional knowledge work will

The goal is to enable ever better emergent knowledge processing in a capable human Me~Mind living dynamically in one time forward lifetime, using the process purposes, positive present participation.

To achieve cogent management of these process purposes pristine orientation may be understood as being this 'now' where more understanding is available than in previous nows for a human Me~Mind capable of using EmptiSelf conception which does not requires, shame, guilt or pride to willingly follow the knowledge while emerging into and from evanescent iStates in the present.

Now is the North Star and information flows is the light of the present, whether we are aware or not aware.

using the present now

We as humanly individuated consciousness are coherently embodied in a continuous flow of energy that we can observe as wave and particle in the light. The present is the constant lifelong time bound event within which our consiousness arises and through which our emergent knowledge flows in one time forward lifetime.

The culturally bound natural language dialectic that arises within us concerning self conception, in community,
is not capable of managing dynamic emergent knowledge within a human Me~Mind living one time forward lifetime. Linear foundations attempt to create high level motivational theories such a Maslows hierarchy of needs which are brittle obsticles to emergent knowledge flow.

No matter what the will of the individual the use of persona bound self conceptions create "I Am ..." statements that cannot survive e.g. 'I am seven years old', 'I am happy because I have succeeded in becoming a doctor which has made my family of origing very happy and proud'

The structure of the self referencing is limited once we begin with the language statement.

Mi~iMind creates a new mathematically bound self referencing system that resolves thes self limiting primary issues while leaving them intact for use and modification. It does this by creating a distinct space for the pronoun bound self conception which is bound to local societies and cultures, these iStates are referred to as hoi polloi iStates and theire nature is from the outside in, i.e. they arise from the use of 'I' and 'You' before 'Me'.

It seems important to point out that the interdependent Me~Mind that underpins the Mi~iMind solution cannot be selfish as it uses a mindful 1st attitude, which means it uses an EmptiSelf conceptions based upon the Buddhist 2 truths, which is used in the wisdom sutras, including the Heart Sutra and the Diamond Sutra. These sutras are conagruent with a scientific epistomology which enables a better understanding of how a thing such as an iState can arise from nothing.

Using complexity science to frame and manage the information flow in a human Me~Mind living one time forward lifetime using the Mi~iMind emergent knowledge solutions uses two lifelong consistencies to orientate for calibration and management of iteritive improvements in any capable human Me~Mind.

The present and the essential emptiness of the objects of mind that inhabit iState awareness in a capable human Me~Mind.

For 80% of our embodied Me~Mind iStates the hoi polloi bound life is worth living and there are at least two infinities available for use with our passionately identified iStates, which we can inhabit along with the self imposed mystery of the knowable unnameable. The Shamen knows the unnameable the person in the Me~Mind that is the Shaman in words does not, in Paraquay with Aiwescha or Stone Henge at the salstice.

The hoi polloi iState is systemically bound for many reasons and therefore shows er

Internally the voice says why didn't I listen me, the answer is some x that blocked my vision, maybe many times. There is no end to the why questions like this at least not until the capacity to make I's that listen to me.

There is no end to the humility lessons that we can learn from our own cognitive dissonance when we discover it in a pattern of thinking or behaviour, there are infinities of delusions that can appear as imaginative insights into our reality which are essentially unreal by their nature.

The use of Psychoanalysis as a cornerstone of human investigations into the human potential is hobbled at the outset by misconceptions of the nature of self identitiy.

From Why To How
How to mind the gap is what she challenged me to do in my work, of course it was a question that required manifold infinities to answer being asked in a language of limited infinities, she knew that.

Manifold infinites require infinite space in the present of one time forward lifetime lifetime as a bare minimum.

The irony of manifold infinities appears most starkly in human life in contrast to the linear hierarchies that represent the self limiting wisdom available using hoi polloi iStates which use imprematur and significence while conflating meaning with feelings, while being guided by the sensuous wisdom of experience without recollective winnowing of incompatabilities in dominent logics that are considered advanced, the use of Greek or Roman cultures to exemplify human exceptionalism would not be congruent with supurior present awareness and cognition.

Me~Mind, There Is A Universe In Here

It is a testimony to the pristine nature of the human mind that there are so many good white Englishmen, men who have not succumbed to the delusion of gender or racial superiority which Darwin a whiteman debunked.

The speed quality and capacity to improve using the evolution of knowledge in the present can be aided by the use of EmptiSelf conception which can effortlessly let the knowlege flow using errors as fuel for enlivening enthusiasm, in the present.

In this our post modern world the use of the term 'Me' is loaded with our local anaphoric wisdom which in the first world creates the highest risk of early death caused by suicide.

The adulteration of self conception facilitated by the separation of individuality from this coherence we call a Universe has placed an emotional drag upon the mere notion of a human Me~Mind.

The conflation of the concept of 'Me', as a human being, in the evanescent present of one time forward lifetime is caught in a linear structure of categories that emerged from male humans who believed and insisted eveybody else believe that the earth was the centre of a Universe that had been created for us the exceptionally separated humans particularly in the male form. A gallant effort that relies upon the insurance against abstracted fears particularly those that involve the notion of a human self arising in the present uncultivated by tresseling of local good men.

Abduring our separation
which has been supported by the local structuring of a Me derived from an 'I' via a self conception with a divine heratage

Emptying Now Before Opening

This now that is written and read in, illustrates a sense of transience through evanescent iStates in each a human Me~Mind living one time forward lifetime, using private anaphoric hinges for understanding now that words and names are anchored to sunken values that cannot flow with the emergent knowledge that flows now from this information in a capable human Me~Mind.

The need for knowing how to provide the present with an effortlessly receptive now is more nuanced than the joy it will bring us humans or the psychological pain it will releive in capable human Me~Minds living one time forward lifetime.

Mi~iMind and functional Buddhism

The heart of Buddhist practice seeks to remove the contingent human suffering caused by the disabuse of the imaginary notions of substantial and significent nature within personal identity by virtue of the discovery of awareness of recursive immenent emptiness in present experiences of self conception bound to emotional sunken values.

Pride and the London Institute Of Psychosynthesis

As a mind without a home in this hoi polloi world the pride that I took in removing my pride poisened the sincerety with which I caused so much pain to those who must spend the whole of their lives limited by the delusion that a hoi polloi iState can love another hoi polloi iState.

It is alll very fine smiling when realizing that you are back stage at the theatre of the absurd howerver the truth is real people die to their imagination here, yield to become some charecter among these well meaning people.

People will say to Me, why are you not real, why is every persona you inhabit false.

The errors we ingest into our personal identity come from the Holon structures in our villages of origin. The middle class private schooled male former Prime Ministers of Great Britain and Northern Ireland such as Boris Johnson and David Cameron are ignorant of their own narrowed self conception just as Donald Trump is in America. Working class groups are bound to notions of progress that involve them aspiring to be the small minded middle classes who imagine themselves superior as they look down inside the holon upon other lower social groups, using systemically abstracted values as the foundations of their reality. Meantime both working class and middle class male groups look down upon non U genders and races. There is no escaping the holon that limits the mind of those participating in a private life that uses the holon and because of this the ceiling of the mind's I in a native of these holons is systemically limited before the pronoun I begins in a capable embodied human Me~Mind.

The I in the We of our villages tells us we are privileged and have the best of life if we are in sets of people like Boris Johnson and underprivileged if we are in sets of people who are bound to working class lives although strangely even in these groups we can find groups that imagine themselves superior to the Boris Johnson group.

The imprimatur we use to gauge our internal values is founded in the fashion of the day, the time we are born will determine if we can be outwardly honest about our sexual dispositions our capacity and reasoning for choosing a partner or staying in a family that makes us profoundly unhappy for the sake of the next generation.

Although we make sincere promises to love through the time of our life based upon our inner beliefs, we sometimes find ourselves hating the same person we thought we loved this belies the inherent flaws in our adaptations of romantic love. If we built houses where 50% of them lasted only 20% of the time they were meant to we would have serious questions for the builders and if we build marriages using unreliable romantic blocks then we need to ask ourselves as the builders real questions.

We can list endless points of failure where our inner judgements concerning our objects of desire and the realisation of those desires did not yield the satisfaction and we can wonder why we cannot get satisfaction.

The underpinning reason for no satisfaction is our use of linear subject object framing of meaning with feelings, when in fact satisfaction occurs in the present of one time forward lifetime which is a location that exists in a dynamic complexity

Who am I and where do I come from in my embodied Me~Mind, here now. How much can this I in me understand and why is it limited and incapable of love.

The issue of the infinite receptiveness required to authenticate true love, when it alteration finds, belies the hidden thresehold of personal I states in the form of personal pronouns, while a Me~Mind may love a personal I may only yield for love.

Look within and around the evidence of experience is in society and personal experience. What arises as a sometimes perplexing dilemma is caused by the time forward nature of a human life on earth and the fixed hierarchies of sunken values upon which the the personal I depends. Ask loving couples of any gender whose middle class life is up ended by unforeseen financial pressures or the loss of a child, how true the love in their personal I was or how resilient long lifelong commitments to spouses and families last in the face of a passionate desire or winning the lottery, when the cornerstones of love depend upon linear hierarchies it cannot manage life's alterations in emergent flow of new understanding in the present.

The meaning of I in me comes from the We in my village of origin and my sets of participation in the present. My sets of participation in the present come from the We

It is my willingness to discuss the issue of suicide that makes me think it is time to share these thoughts. When I was 19 my suicide attempt left me staring at the ceiling unable to move my toes or fingers flat on my back looking at the hospital ceiling with a clarity that my eyes no longer enable.

It had taken about 6 weeks to filch a sufficient amount of Grandmas prescription medication to succeed and succeed I would have had I but slept another hour and not walked in my sleep and fallen down the stairs while looking for the loo.

With time to think about my decision over the weeks I used my innocent interpretations of the world as a horrible place for a soul journey, where men whose world it was went to war as boys and never recovered, even if they survived.

The I in me that depended upon the We was existentially at risk as the cave within which the Ego/I is enslaved by virtue of the linear naming while in the dynamics of time forward within lifetime, even a capable human Me~Mind, is doomed by the emergent knowledge flow, like a village in an anciently Dammed valley that cannot pay taxes or survive time forward.

The I from We is never Me let alone all of Me, yet it is this I of Me the We wants.

It is my willingness to discuss the issue of suicide that makes me think it is time to share these thoughts. When I was 19 my suicide attempt left me staring at the ceiling unable to move my toes or fingers flat on my back looking at the hospital ceiling with a clarity that my eyes no longer enable.

It had taken about 6 weeks to filch a sufficient amount of Grandmas prescription medication to succeed and succeed I would have had I but slept another hour and not walked in my sleep and fallen down the stairs while looking for the loo.

With time to think about my decision over the weeks I used my innocent interpretations of the world as a horrible place for a soul journey, where men whose world it was went to war as boys and never recovered, even if they survived.

The I in me that depended upon the We was existentially at risk as the cave within which the Ego/I is enslaved by virtue of the linear naming while in the dynamics of time forward within lifetime, even a capable human Me~Mind, is doomed by the emergent knowledge flow, like a village in an anciently Dammed valley that cannot pay taxes or survive time forward.

When I was younger my joke about coming out as mixed race when I was 4 and 3/4 seemed like it was a funny way to talk about the deeply painful reality that I was not ok for my family my tribe or my nation.

It was not until I was about 30 when my then brother in law told me that he was gay and that nobody in his family of 5 siblings and 2 parents knew for certain, it was the 1980's and the AIDS epedemic was taking hold across the first world and our isolation as individuals revealed itself. In some ways my brown skin forced me to confront prejudice and break the ice with fearful strangers whose releif when they realized I had basic manners and could speak English was palpable.

My life was rejected in the womb as evidenced by me being born a blue baby and when I turned brown the nurses and nuns changed their view of my value outside the womb.

The stick that is removed from the water reveals itself as straight the I that came from the sea of We cannot be easily extracted from that sea of We that was our village of origins idea of what an I should be. In complex systems the end is in the beginning before the human poetry declares a mystery.

Some of the educated amongst us have heard, considered and debated about the story of the stick appearing bent in the water until it is revealed as straight which has been used since the ancient greeks as an example of how appearance without examination and testing is unreliable and it turns out that our personal I pronoun is actually similarly distorted in how it appears in each of us privately.

Before some technical explanation of why our I is bent our Me~Minds

The stick that is removed from the water reveals itself as straight the I that came from the sea of We cannot be easily extracted from that sea of We that was our village of origins idea of what an I should be. In complex systems the end is in the beginning before the human poetry declares a mystery.

Some of the educated amongst us have heard, considered and debated about the story of the stick appearing bent in the water until it is revealed as straight which has been used since the ancient greeks as an example of how appearance without examination and testing is unreliable and it turns out that our personal I pronoun is actually similarly distorted in how it appears in each of us privately.

Before some technical explanation of why our I is bent our Me~Minds

First Things First, Better Is Possible and 80% of us are trying to win the wrong game