Internally the voice says why didn't I listen me, the answer is some x that blocked my vision, maybe many times. There is no end to the why questions like this at least not until the capacity to make I's that listen to me.

There is no end to the humility lessons that we can learn from our own cognitive dissonance when we discover it in a pattern of thinking or behaviour, there are infinities of delusions that can appear as imaginative insights into our reality which are essentially unreal by their nature.